Smile?
"Why were you hitting on a 40 year old woman?" Dennis exclaims, with a tiny hint of jealous beast in his voice. I hold out on explanation... and give Dennis an aerial nudge with my elbow, as to not disturb my humble boss, who is quietly lurking about in the hidden backrooms.
Like life, getting tipped is all about playing the system... Of course I wasn't hitting on her. Dennis just doesn't know how I rollllllllll. Yet. I'll give him like a month to get acclimated to my crafty flow.
I made 15 dollars in tip a few days ago. I just scoop ice cream, and pull levers that secrete ice cream. I didn't know I deserved a tip for that. I'll spare you only a few of my handy tricks that you can use if you ever get a job at an ice cream shop.
Trick 1: Who?
-Basically, the type of person who would most likely give you a tip, are the people you must impress. For example,
-Impress a lovely couple... because the male will most likely try to be Macho as Fuck, and tip the hell out of me to impress the girl.
-Impress the Businessman, because the smallest denomination he has is a twenty dollar bill, and wants to keep it that way.
-Don't impress the ice cream noobs, (the ones that have never been in Carvel, you can usually tell by how they go straight for the menu). The ice cream noobs won't tip you because they are too preoccupied about getting their order correct.
-Don't impress Asian people. They aren't even worth your time.
Trick 2: Placement.
-When you give back change to the customer, you hand the change directly above the tip jar, so they have the natural tendency to just drop what they have. Also, determine the position of the tip jar. The most efficient spot is to put it to the right of the register (this is where their left hand lies)... this is good because most people are righty, therefore they hold the ice cream on their right, and get their change using their left hand.
Trick 3: Smile?
-Young man= Don't smile.
-Young lady= Don't smile, give them the sexy-nod because a smile can intimidate them, especially my smile (so secksiXcoreeeroxorzzshkffaj).
-Old man=Don't smile, he can't even see you.
-Old lady= Smile, they haven't had sex in a while, you can at least smile at them.
-Kids= Don't smile, trends generally dictate that their tipping tendencies are of a sporadic and puzzling nature. Don't bother trying. If they give you money... yay, good for you, go tell your mom about it.
Like life, getting tipped is all about playing the system... Of course I wasn't hitting on her. Dennis just doesn't know how I rollllllllll. Yet. I'll give him like a month to get acclimated to my crafty flow.
I made 15 dollars in tip a few days ago. I just scoop ice cream, and pull levers that secrete ice cream. I didn't know I deserved a tip for that. I'll spare you only a few of my handy tricks that you can use if you ever get a job at an ice cream shop.
Trick 1: Who?
-Basically, the type of person who would most likely give you a tip, are the people you must impress. For example,
-Impress a lovely couple... because the male will most likely try to be Macho as Fuck, and tip the hell out of me to impress the girl.
-Impress the Businessman, because the smallest denomination he has is a twenty dollar bill, and wants to keep it that way.
-Don't impress the ice cream noobs, (the ones that have never been in Carvel, you can usually tell by how they go straight for the menu). The ice cream noobs won't tip you because they are too preoccupied about getting their order correct.
-Don't impress Asian people. They aren't even worth your time.
Trick 2: Placement.
-When you give back change to the customer, you hand the change directly above the tip jar, so they have the natural tendency to just drop what they have. Also, determine the position of the tip jar. The most efficient spot is to put it to the right of the register (this is where their left hand lies)... this is good because most people are righty, therefore they hold the ice cream on their right, and get their change using their left hand.
Trick 3: Smile?
-Young man= Don't smile.
-Young lady= Don't smile, give them the sexy-nod because a smile can intimidate them, especially my smile (so secksiXcoreeeroxorzzshkffaj).
-Old man=Don't smile, he can't even see you.
-Old lady= Smile, they haven't had sex in a while, you can at least smile at them.
-Kids= Don't smile, trends generally dictate that their tipping tendencies are of a sporadic and puzzling nature. Don't bother trying. If they give you money... yay, good for you, go tell your mom about it.
posted by AtaraxiaXVI at 10:02 PM
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